The truth about no strings attached (NSA) is… well, someone is bound to get attached. Regrettably, human beings aren’t capable of experiencing sexual relations with another individual without eventually growing some sort of attachment.
The concept of NSA is ideal, well that is SEEMS ideal at the beginning of the relationship (or shall we say agreement, that seems more appropriate). Who doesn’t want someone they can rely on for constant sex without having to commit too much time or effort?
Kimberly, a 27-year-old nanny in Atlanta, has had sex with three men in the past month. “I have a job, hobbies, and friends I love. A monogamous relationship is the only component of my life that is lacking — but I love it!” she says. “I want Mr. Right eventually, but for the time being, I’ve got needs, and Mr. Right Now will do just fine.”
Welcome to the hookup culture — or asWashington Post reporter Laura Sessions Stepp puts it, “the most confusing sexual landscape any generation has faced.” Stepp spent the past year hanging out with eight young women and learning about their sexual escapades. She reveals what she discovered in her provocative new book, Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both.
A problem that often occurs in friends with benefits (FWB) or NSA relationships is that ground rules aren’t applied. As previously noted, this is an agreement. Just like a business contract there should be rules and restrictions. Will you and your business partner agree to only having relations with each other? Are you allowed to see, and/or sleep with other people?
How often will you be seeing each other? By applying rules to your agreement you also imply (more-so) that this is not a relationship, therefore feelings will be less-misconstrued (ultimately still misconstrued). But even so, someone will eventually get the wrong impression.
According to a survey by Match.com approximately half the college student population is in or has been in an FWB relationship, this study also found that 47 percent of single people report having had an FWB or NSA relationship in the past. So, it seems as though just about everyone (anyone who’s anyone) is having sex without the traditional boyfriend/ girlfriend status! Seems great, right?! Wrong.
Studies show that due to this “relationship” being undefined, it is doomed from the start. The lack of title in a NSA/FWB relationship leads to insecurities, jealousy and worst of all, resentment. Involving yourself in a sexual relationship with one of your friends can ultimately end in lack of friendship entirely. So, is casual sex worth the loss of a friendship? That answer may be different across the board, but before getting involved with “no strings attached” you may want to think about continuing your random hookups or even abstinence all together.
