How I Survived Going Into My Freshman Year With A Boyfriend

Going into college is a whole new ball game. For the first time you are away from your parents, away from any siblings you may have, and essentially you gain a new freedom. You can stay up as late as you want, you don’t have to tell anyone (but maybe your roommates) where you are going, you can see anyone you want at any time. Including your boyfriend. Some young adults use this new found freedom to be with their significant other 24/7. Whether you enter freshmen year with a significant other or you gain one in the middle of the year it’s important to look at what that could do to your freshman experience and how you can keep yourself in check.

 

 

Looking back at my freshman year, I don’t regret going into my first year of college with a boyfriend. That’s right folks, Sorority Goddess started off her freshman year with a boyfriend. But I tired not to let that get in the way of my freshman year. Having a boyfriend your freshman year can be a really positive experience, if you are in a positive relationship. I was lucky enough to have such a relationship. Did it work out? No, it didn’t. Are there still things I wish I had done freshman year? Of course! But having him there made my experience a little more familiar. Some of us need that familiarity and security when starting something new. It’s not a bad thing, some don’t necessarily need it, or if they do hopefully they grow out of it (like I have). But it’s important to talk about your freshman year and what you want out of it with your significant other.

 

 

Your freshman year will fly by. One minute you are moving into the dorms the next you are loading up your car getting ready to head home for the summer. When you reflect on your freshmen year do you want to look back and remember the times you hung out with your boyfriend in your dorm room? Or do you want to remember the people you met, the things you did? Honestly, four years later I’m not looking back and thinking “Wow, remember that one night I stayed in and [insert my ex’s name] stayed the night and we watched [whatever movie]”. Nope, and even if I was still with him…those aren’t the nights would I remember. I quite frankly don’t care about the nights I stayed in and did absolutely nothing.

frat couple 2

 

 

So, how to survive your first year of college when you have a boyfriend…how does one go about that. Like I said earlier, talk about it with your significant other and really think about what you want for them. Encourage each other to make friends (girls and guys)! I know as women we can get jealous of our significant other’s girl-like friends. The way to overcome this is to befriend as many people as you can that they have become friends with. Introducing each other to new friends is a really good and positive thing. However, this can’t be one sided, you both have to branch out and meet people. I know there were times when I wanted to see my boyfriend but he was with his friends and yes sometimes I got upset that he was with them and not me. But in a healthy relationship you want each other to grow, have your own experiences, have a sense of independence.

 

 

Independence is SO important when going into college. You are used to relying on your parents or your close knit of high school friends. Sometimes, you don’t have those people to rely on so you seek it out. Again, it’s one of those things where you can do it the healthy way by expanding your horizons or you can find yourself a boyfriend (or the one you already have) and be with them every single second you have free. You can’t rely on that person to always be there for you. Even in a happy and healthy relationship. College is time for you to grow and learn as a person. You find out a lot about yourself and what you want in life. You are most likely not going to find that when you never leave your dorm room. You go to college to learn, not just from your classrooms but from your experiences.

Couple studying outside

 

 

Which brings us to going out and having the time of your life! Does this mean you spend your weekends partying? Not necessarily…but go out and explore your college town. Hang out with new friends or sorority sisters. Don’t be that one girl in the dorm or in the freshmen pledge class that is always with her boyfriend or always with her boyfriends friends. Have your OWN experience. Don’t just live vicariously through their experiences. Just like I encouraged my boyfriend to go out with his friends, he encouraged me to be with mine. I went out to fraternities (I apparently was known as the ‘cute girl with the boyfriend’ at some of the fraternities, HAHA), I went to parties, I went out on 2am ice cream runs with my dorm friends, I spent entire weekends without my boyfriend. Trust me, YOU WILL LIVE.  One thing I definitely didn’t do? Isolate myself. And if you have a significant other who is getting upset with you going to fraternities or anything else then maybe re-evaluate that relationship. But also, be honest with yourself. I was in a healthy relationship, I knew that I loved my boyfriend. We had a trust in each other and we respected each other. I never did anything to hinder that trust. I did check in with him while I was out too and so did he. We didn’t text excessively just a quick “hey i’m headed out!”, “I’m having a great time!” “I’m home talk to you in the morning” . It was more of a safety thing for us.

 

 

If anything, keep one set day a week to see each other. Now, you aren’t going to know what this day will be in the beginning of the semester. You are both going to be getting used to a schedule, you don’t know when you will have tests or be busy with homework or studying. Sometimes schedules are so hectic your day won’t be the same every week. That’s okay too. Go out, get coffee, go on a run, study together, etc. Also, I’m not saying limit yourself to only seeing them once a week, I’m just saying have a set date night or something in case you are busy or you have plans with friends on the weekend.

 

 

Going Greek and he isn’t? As long as he respects your decision you will be fine! My boyfriend at the time was not in a fraternity but he was still able to go to date parties and my sorority’s formals. He knew my sorority took up a lot of my time, because like I have said before, it’s a lifestyle. Actually, he did end up joining a fraternity, and I was fully supportive of that as well!

 

 

All in all, it’s possible to be in a relationship during your freshman year of college. Just remember to talk it out &  find out what each one wants for themselves & for each other, find your inner-independence, don’t isolate yourself,  make new friends, and have your own experiences. Freshman year is what YOU make it so make it count! It’s a really fantastic time that you want to look back on and think “Wow, I wish I could go back and do it all again” because of how GREAT it was. Not because of how much you wish you could change it.

 

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