PNS reporting from ENGLAND) Scientists at the University of Oxford have uncovered evidence that women with big butts are not only the most intelligent, but also the most resistant to chronic illnesses.
The study examined the fat accumulated in different parts of a woman’s body, and found that women with a phat ass were less likely to get diabetes, since they are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar.
What’s more, women with big booties tended to have lower levels of cholesterol and less heart problems, according to the study.
We translated the Fafhoo Noticas report:
Women with a big butt, wide hips and an ESTRECHA waist can live longer, and even be more intelligent, since the Omega 3 fats stored in their butts support brain development.
“Marie Curie, for example, had to back that ass up in the lab all the time — and look how brilliant she was!” remarked butt researcher Benedict Pollen. “This supports the long-rumored story that Albert Einstein himself wore baggy clothing to try to mask the fact that he had it going on.”
English scientists were excited by the results, and wondered where they could get their hands on some big booty on their side of the pond.