My cousin was about to leave for boot camp, so I decided to throw him a little party while my parents were away. It turned out to not be so little (not for my town anyway) with around 50 people, topless girls in the pool, and the whole house full of smoke (the good kind). One of my friends went to get laid in my little brothers bedroom and when I went to get them out of there I blacked out, something happened, and I woke up with my pants down next to that same girl my friend had had sex with just before. I headed back downstairs to catch up with the party when one of the many random girls that showed up sprinted into the bathroom. I thought, “Hey, if she made it to the bathroom that’s all that matters.” Seconds later my cousin yelled, “Dude, she shit on your couch.” At this point I was so fucked up, I didn’t even know how to respond. I walked down the stairs expecting to see a little turd (as weird as that thought is). As I turned the corner and entered the room, I almost hurled at the site. A basketball sized diarrhea glob was positioned in the middle of one of the seats on the couch, in the perfect shape of butt cheeks. I started to gag thinking about how that dump must have shot out of her tight-ass shorts and onto the couch I had slept on for so many years. I worked as an LNA, wiping up shit all the time, but this was too much. I picked the goofiest kid there and gave him $20 to clean it up, and he did. To top it off, that girl ran into my bathroom, shit all over that, and that group of girls ran out the back door before I even knew their names. They did come from Vermont though, so you’ve all been warned. And that was my craziest party experience.
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